A Week Without Social Media
I took a step back from social media and in just the first week, here is what I noticed:
Day 1: I made it all day without scrolling. Initially, a tiny bit anxiety producing, which is so sad, and also confirms this was a good idea. Instead of scrolling with my morning coffee, I just jumped right into the day with cooking. We spent over 2 hours in the car today, instead of spending it on my social media, I read a book, did some research for my garden, and some menu planning. (HERE is what I am currently reading)
Day 2: This morning, I opted for more sleep before making breakfast. In just two days, the 2 big things I’ve noticed:
1. I didn’t realize how many times a day I actually pick up my phone for no reason at all, at random times during the day. It’s become my space filler. Anytime I have a few minutes, the phone is an easy escape, something to keep me entertained. When did that happen? When did we start living in a time when we can't be ok to just have a few minutes that aren’t filled with something? I think the progression has been so slow that we didn’t realize it. The fact that we check our phones in line at the grocery store instead of browsing the magazine covers or small-talking with the cashier. That we don’t look up when entering an elevator to even acknowledge that there are other people we are sharing air with. We don’t even simply sit at a traffic light anymore without feeling like we need to fill that space. I wanted to think I did a good job at not being that person, but clearly wasn’t as good as I thought and certainly not as good as it could be.
2. I’m constantly looking at my life through the lens of content creation. Now, I won’t fully blame social media for that. Most of that, I think, initially started as a professional photographer. I’ve always kind of seen the world in photographs, but since the initiation of Instagram in my life, it’s so much more than that. I realized after literally just 24 hours off of social that I was doing things, ie, making bread and wondering how I could photograph it to make it interesting, and then wondering what kind of post I could write to educate people as I did my meal prep for the week. Guys, that’s not good. And this happened multiple times during the day, from cooking in my kitchen to picking flowers in my garden, to going on a nature hike with my kids. I found myself wondering how I could share it. All the while, I’ve never really asked myself why. And for who? And then again, why? I would really like to think that what I share has value, and from feedback I’ve gotten, I know some of it does, but not all of it. When did we get so interested in other people’s day-to-day lives? What are they eating for breakfast? Where their clothes are from? The drama at the office, their favorite makeup line and application, and then even deeper, what their kids are doing?
There is so much. So much has gone through my head in just a few days about it all, and it’s insane. But if I’m cooking in the kitchen with my kids thinking about how I can take a video and post it to encourage other people to cook with their kids, and maybe add a little jab about how messy it is, for relatability, I’m not really in the moment in the kitchen cooking with my kids, and isn’t that the whole point!?
Mind blown. Feel like I just tore the lid off the whole thing. But here is the thing…I do still want to encourage people to invite their kids into the kitchen and grow the flowers and bake the homemade bread because I’m super passionate about it, and I feel like the world has told us we can’t have those things and work full time or have a beautifully decorated pristine house or do it all without making millions. But we can. We can have it all, or most of it at least, I think, but we are drowning in so much crap. So much noise.
Self-inflicted to a point, right? If I can’t simply go about life without brain power going to how I would share it…. Ugh. That feels so itchy in every way.
So that’s where I’m at after just 48 hours. I had the thought today, too, wondering how much is about instant gratification. The need for right now. I’ve never been an in-the-moment poster. I’m someone who, at the end of the day, would spend a few minutes and share for the whole day. If you ever paid attention to the time stamps, they made no sense. But even today, with all the things I wanted to share, I had the thought I could maybe once a week do a blog post or newsletter with a summary of the whole week, pick maybe one thing or one recipe to get nitty-gritty with, and the rest basically be a culmination of all the little things I would have posted. But sitting here thinking about that, I’m struck wondering if by the end of the week what, if any, I’d still feel like I wanted to share?
I have no idea if that makes any sense. I’m going to keep writing on this social media pause, though, because writing helps me process, and I need to process.
Day 3: Played hooky with my kids. Spent the day unplugged on a field trip with a nature-based homeschool co-op group near us, which has graciously allowed us to tag along on field trip days even though my kids are in traditional school. Was surrounded by parents and kids playing and learning in a garden on a farm, no screens, no phones. I took a few photos, of course, and for the ease and convenience of having a camera in my pocket, I am grateful, but I came home and told my husband all about our day. I felt no desire to share any of it on social media. Quite the opposite, actually. Not that it wasn’t insanely cool to do something really different and admittedly out of my comfort zone for the day and for my parenting style, but the day had a sacredness to it, one that was so connected to the earth that it would have actually felt weird to bring it into the digital space to share.
Day 4: Do you feel the beauty of the sunrise the same if you are viewing a photo of it versus seeing it in person? On the way to drop my kids off, watching the sunrise as we do every morning on the way to school, today though it was extra. Beams of pink streaks in the clear blue sky, a single star visible, a cow field draped in a thick, dense fog, the silhouette of the trees…it was stunning. My instant reaction was to grab my phone and roll down my window, and take a picture, not for myself to remember but to share. Why? I can’t ever remember seeing someone else's sunrise/sunset photo and feeling anything. Pretty sure the “wow the world is beautiful, today is going to be a gorgeous day, such a good reminder to slow down” thoughts you get from seeing a sunrise don’t translate in a photo, only if you experience it in person. So we share for what? LIkes? Validation? Something to do?
Other observations: Much more productive at work for sure without the constant easy distraction of social media. Got more reading done at night than usual. (What I’m currently reading on my kindle HERE.) Had a huge problem in the garden, and technically “cheated” and opened Instagram to message my go-to garden person to ask for advice. He was super helpful and gave freely of his time and advice, and it was so hard not to share a public thank you because I know how much those types of posts generate traffic to businesses’ pages and how important that is for more of their content to be seen.
Day 5: Waiting rooms. I’m sitting here journaling, listening to a podcast, book in my backpack for some reading later while I wait. There are 4 other people in the waiting room, all scrolling while they sip their coffee. Kind of appropriate, I guess, you are stuck sitting in a waiting room with nothing else to do, just enjoying the downtime. Where magazines and tv used to be, we now just have baby computers in our back pockets. No one says a single word to each other, no good morning, no small talk. I made a friend, though, a cute little 5-month-old baby girl. She giggled at me, laughed, smiled, and practiced clapping. Her mom…scrolling. Ugh. Made me wonder how many moments I missed to spend time with my kids. How many opportunities for play or being present that I was distracted by the noise, by the computer in my back pocket? Also, as someone who likes to talk to people, I really miss the small talk with strangers.
Day 6: It’s been almost a week. It’s our anniversary. I shared a photo. Not for likes or comments, but to tag our photographer because 5 years later, I am forever grateful for the perfect images of our day. They are everything I could have wanted and more. I love her work, always have, and know how hard the game of social media is for business owners. If you want to check out our wedding photos and help generate some traffic to her website, check out the blog HERE.
Photo By: Tiny House Photo
It hasn’t been a full week just yet, but I can say overall one with less anxiety. Less worry about the world, which I think, considering its current state, is probably a good thing. Definitely more reading, which I love. Going to give it some more time, but I think where I’m gravitating towards is I’m going to unfollow 99% of the 800+ accounts I currently follow and narrow it down to the 20 people whose lives I actually care about. And go back to blogging, maybe not weekly because I don’t think that’s sustainable, but perhaps bi-monthly so I can continue to share kitchen tips, meal planning ideas, my garden journey, and general nutrition information and inspiration, but have it more focused, more organized, more positive.
The last thing I’ve observed and had time to think about is how much of social media is really just about a place to put our opinions and how we now live in a world where we think that matters more than it actually does, and where we think people actually want to hear it. The current administration made an announcement this week about Tylenol and autism. This is a topic that would have caused me to spend even more time on social media, curating a post about my thoughts and opinions on the topic, sharing those on other people’s threads, undoubtedly also getting in some heated discussions with those people whose opinions differ from mine, all for what? Truthfully, my opinion most likely wouldn’t change anyone else's. Maybe sharing it would have educated a few people who follow me but even that is debatable as most of my followers are like minded people and already educated on such topics but so much energy would have been wasted and instead that energy was put towards cooking nourishing meals for my family, tending to my garden, prioritizeing self care with working out and even a soak in the tub under the stars. More time reading and nurturing myself, more time spent in conversation with my husband, and a little bit more sleep, all positives.